Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Cry Me A River

It's been a rough couple of days around here.  Marley is on my last nerve 75% of the day.  When she is with her dad, she will happily play independently with her toys.  When she's with me (all day, everyday), she wants to be by my side and won't play with her toys for more than 7 minutes...and that's on a good day.

I think that she's just now reacting to Beckett's arrival, 5 months after the fact.  Twice yesterday, she tried to stop me from nursing him, first by yelling in his ear, and second by removing him from the tap while he was eating.  This made me lose it and yell at her, which made me feel guilty and feel like a crappy mom.

I feel like both kids are getting the short end of the stick (or my temper) lately.  Because of Marley's neediness, I have very little patience for her and I don't have much time to give any quality attention to Beckett.  When I do get a minute where I am alone, I just want to zone out on Pinterest...which triggers another round of guilt....stupid guilt.

I'm just feeling spread very thin lately.  The house is dirty, I'm not working out, I barely get to talk to my husband these days, it's taken me 3 months to finish a book, I can't keep up with reading blogs, there is no sewing or crafting happening, I am SO behind on the photo albums that I love to work on, I hardly ever see my friends...blah blah blah.  Poor me.  I'm probably being a bit dramatic, but that's how I roll and that's how I feel.

I so thankful that when the girl looks like this (often)...

...the boy is kicked back chilling, even if no one has talked to him in 30 minutes.

Thanks for listening, this too shall pass...

7 comments:

  1. I can totally relate- and I just have one! Can't imagine how challenging it can be to have two little ones that need attention.
    Don't feel guilty or like a bad momma though... we all have our days. What's important is to just do your best and know that there won't always be good days, and the bad days will eventually not be as prevalent. :)

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  2. I don't feel like I'm eligible to say much on a post like this because I'm not a mommy, but getting comments is fun. Sooo I'm leaving you a comment in hopes that it gets a smile out of ya!! Maybe she could watch old videos of herself being goofy that you have posted on here while you are nursing. My nephew LOVED watching videos of himself. He would want to watch them over and over.
    Like I said I've never been in your shoes so I'm not trying to step on them or anything just thought maybe I'd throw out an idea!
    Hope life clams down a bit for you soon.

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  3. First of all-- And lets be frank. Don't ever feel guilty for zoning out on Pinterest. Lets take a look at a surgeon's job: VERY important job.... stressful, etc. Surgeons get a day off. Moms don't. End of story. If you want 30 freaking minutes to look on Pinterest then so be it. Cripe, if you want 30 minutes to zone out on the toilet, go for it.

    In terms of crafting and whatnot-- those things will always be there waiting for you. I showered today AND I'm wearing clean sweatpants. Boom.

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  4. So, yes. This too shall pass. As all things do but in the moment it feels like total crappy crappiness to be giving all you got with nothing to fill yourself back up! Unfortunately, the answer is totally, ridiculously, simple and completely not reassuring. Time. In time it will all get better and let's be brutally honest. Time SUCKS! In the meantime wallow in it, girl! And feel free to martyr yourself into oblivion because that is absolutely what I would do. ;) Hang in there. Like you have any choice.

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  5. Hang in there Katie! I dont even do half of what you do and i only have one. Our house is a disaster, I havent cooked a real meal in days, the last two days we mostly stayed in pjs, and have not even thought about working out in months--that will all still be there when the kiddos grow up in the bilnk of an eye. You are a GREAT mama!!

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  6. Oh, friend, I'm so sorry you're going through this :( It's not easy being super mom and the jobs of a SAHM never seem to end. We stayed home all day on Tuesday and I tried to clean the house. Worst.day.ever. Lotsa crying, bad naps, lost tempers, and a crappy lunch. But it sure felt good when hubby got home and took over :)
    Kids need their mommy and the house will just have to wait. And don't feel guilty- Pinterest is cheaper than therapy. Ha!

    P.S. Joining a local Moms Group was the best idea ever!

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  7. Hang in there. You are doing awsome!! Seriously.

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